im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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