It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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