I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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