hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
