So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
