Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
