Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
