butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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