He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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