:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
