So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
