I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize