you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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