I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
