Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
