She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My pussy is not your playground.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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