just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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