My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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