i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
