I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
