I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
