We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
40s are totally the cure
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
