I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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