Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
