This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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