the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
