I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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