Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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