I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
