did you get engaged???
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize