Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
