Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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