Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
