We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
