found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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