He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
