I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
