she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
