She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
