i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
