There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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