She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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