I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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