I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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