Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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