READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
