He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
