But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
