so that wasnt chicken after all
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were trust falling into bushes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
