Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
