he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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