I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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