You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
