its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
