I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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