Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
