Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
