I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
