you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
