belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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