i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
